FB woes

Sigh. It’s not my fault that I am in the company of beautiful people. But oh, the bane…
Today, my beautiful cousin, G, wrote a quick note to check why the hell some friend of mine from Facebook (FB) tried adding her on multiple occasions. I believe the fella must have been overly zealous.
Over lunch, upon reading the message, I rapidly typed a ‘Good riddance’ note to the bugger.

Here’s how it goes:

Dear R,

Please DO NOT add people from my list whom you do NOT know personally and making yourself a nuisance.

I do not want to waste time providing any explanation to my friends and family about pesky 'befrienders' who are unfortunately, associated with me.

By the way, I know G is very pretty. I think so too. She is my beloved cousin, who will be marrying the love of her life soon.

If you're still single and are looking out for a potential soul mate, please look elsewhere. SDS/SDU is the best place to seek assistance. I would have done so myself, had I been in search of a life partner.

Yours truly,
Ivy.

Yes, to all my beautiful female friends out there, (like PJ and A), please pardon me if R bugs you likewise. Sometimes, you can’t control these social networks, or how well/ badly your supposed friends behave. Let me know and I will give them a piece of my mind.

Daily Sustenance

My daily dose of sanity includes a little thinking out of the box. A bit of dreaming about how life can be and will be in the future. This gives me strength, courage and most of all, that energy to carry on.

My life is synonymous to running a marathon these days. And although running is one of my most hated form of exercise (come on, it's like hamsters on a treadmill), it ever so often increases my threshold for tolerance and pain. Just when I thought I have run out of steam and am ready to give up, the electronic counter on the machine tells me to hang in there as the end is near. In the end, I push myself harder and complete the distance. And hey, when it's done, it does not seem that tough anymore, is it? Guess I am sucker for punishing activities then. ;-P

However it's when I am doing awfully boring things like running on the treadmill that I transport myself to another world—a world where life's perfect and I have it at my feet.

In memory of John Lennon-Strawberry Fields (Central Park New York)

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create." ~Albert Einstein

Life's like traffic...

Not written an entry for a week and it felt really uncomfortable. I employ writing as a panacea for life’s frustrations and when not done on a regular basis, general discomfort sets in.

Today’s thoughts:

“Life is like traffic. Maneuver with dexterity.”—I.V.Y.

Today’s traffic condition is by far one of the worst ever experienced. Oh course, you may not agree. Traffic condition for your route may be smooth flowing. That’s life. Rough things happen to people at different times which is why we should not expect others to empathize with our plight.

There was a massive jam caused by an accident. Traffic came to standstill. On a good day, I would need another 30 minutes to get to my destination from where I was. Gracious. I think this may take an hour plus now.

But I was tailgating along in the direction of a slip road. On my right, traffic flow was also heavy along the CTE to the city. It meant a taking a longer route. Should I?

Better heavy and slow than not at all, I decided.

In the end, I was still late. But I would be later should I be stuck in that horrendous jam.
Since I was idling much of the time in the car, I started thinking.

Isn’t traffic like life? Sometimes we are caught in slow moving traffic (even when we are supposedly on an expressway). But when we can see there’s a terrible jam ahead that is not clearing anytime soon, it’s better to exit early after assessing the situation.
Else I may arrive at my destination a weary old lady.

Health Hazard: Listening to our National Radio

It’s terrible to listen to the national radio (News Radio 938) so early in the morning. And I just dread it when the Talkback session comes on air and listeners call in to give their 2 cents’ worth on whatever is the topic of discussion of the day. (I digress, but I would rather be sleeping than speed dialing a number just to voice my humble opinion on the airwaves).

Most commonly mispronounced/ improperly enunciated word:
PROBABLY
Singaporeans tend to slur through this word or simply put no effort in articulating it clearly.
PROLLY. PROBLY. PROPERBLY.

Like fingernails scratching across the chalkboard, it’s enough to give one a splitting headache when this word is mispronounced 5 times in a row. ARGH

Another weird expression Singaporeans like to use:
Watch TV.
This is how you watch TV:

Maybe you have a super luxurious, movie theatre-sized LCD flat screen in your house. Watching it alone is enough to give you a visual high. Programmes? Nah. I love staring at the empty screen. What a sexy electronic appliance. (Heard the crickets calling?)
Or maybe you’re afraid that someone will steal it when you’re not looking. Don’t blink and guard it with your life… (-_-)

Something that puzzles me:
My smallest child is laden with lots of schoolwork.

One thing’s for sure. I am the eldest but SMALLEST child in my family.

Latest expression that tickled me:

I disagree with youths making sex nowadays.

Seriously. Singaporeans pay too little emphasis on speaking correctly. This in turn leads to miscommunication. Then again, if the entire nation is on the same wavelength, my concern may be unfounded. Oh well.

Daily Trivia:

Straits Times Section that I like: English As It Is Broken

Sunshine After the Rain

Rain on a sunny day. Weather of this sort is like an oxymoron.

From which perspective should I view this?
Does it mean that I can expect to see a pretty rainbow after the rain? Is this sudden downpour a reprieve to the summer heat?
Or does it mean that life sucks? Even on sunshine-y days, you never know when it will pour and soak you to the skin?

Whatever it is, it’s good to see sunshine after the rain.

A Marriageable Candidate

Grey’s Anatomy is a terribly addictive drama series. Fortunately, not having Season 3 for the matter is the best way to stem the madness from taking place. Phew!
Anyway, Isaiah Washington, the man who played the role of Dr. Burke is fired and thus, Season 4 does not include him. At least, not for now. Entertainment is fishy business and nothing is absolute in this industry. Remember, cocaine snorting can make you richer. -_- How terribly absurd.
Anyway, while devouring the series, I suddenly thought about the issue of "marriage- ability".
Given a choice, who would you pick in Grey’s Anatomy?
As for myself, I would narrow my options down to Patrick Dempsey—Dr. Shepherd and Isaiah Washington—Dr. Burke.
It’s a tough decision if one has to pick just one. But I would eventually pick a character like Burke to pursue a spousal partnership.

Both are equally intelligent (in the show). But Burke’s character is more dependable. Grounded. Faithful. Homely. Strong. Manly. Seeks a long term relationship. (Bonus: Can whip up a mean dinner).

Shepherd’s character makes girls go weak in the knees, inspires feelings of lust but gives a sense of insecurity.

Oh well. So, my heart whispers "Shepherd" but my head says “Take Burke”.
Plus, being a cardiothoracic surgeon, Burke is more capable of mending broken hearts. ;-)

Is it crappy to engage temporarily in this exercise of choosing a fictitious life partner? To some extent. But it does throw perspective at the types of people we will take as soul mates, doesn’t it?

It’s so telling. I am a person who is not into looks but reliability in a man.

(Well, but many ladies these days are drawn towards good lookers and when they gush about how handsome their counterparts look, I wonder if that’s a big priority in shaping their choice. The only consolation? Man is not the only gender who objectifies human beings of the opposite sex).

Stylish in cyberspace

Style Diaries, Forum Threads…these are avenues for fashionistas to display their outfits, ensembles of the day and post their pictures up for all to comment and appreciate.

Sometimes, while browsing these sites, I think to myself, “How do they manage to capture their pictures in the morning before leaving for work? Doesn’t it take up at least another 8 minutes of their time to stand around their digital camera (I think they must have placed their gadgets on tripods to capture their full length poses)? Or do they employ a poor maid who has to double up as their photographer?”

How do they manage it is a beautiful mystery. But I do enjoy viewing pictures they put up. It’s like a fashion magazine that updates itself every day and I only need to pay my monthly internet bill to watch these gorgeous but apparently leisurely ladies strut their stuff.

I am not complaining.

My only gripe? I want that dress she’s wearing too.

Thought of the Day

Just came across this quotation in Forbes:
“People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them.” ~Eric Hoffer

Interesting. Pretty true, don’t cha think?
So, I guess it may be true too if we reverse the saying a little. Bootlickers are often ingrates.

I don’t see the point in bootlicking if you can’t deliver results though. These people have a short shelf life.

Nonchalant Coolness and the Easily Excitable

Grabbed the entry below from Wind in My Head’s Blog Post. She took it elsewhere so, to the original writer, thank you and hope you don’t mind.
We see eye to eye.

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DAILY THOUGHTS FROM A DOG

From a Dog's Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

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Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He obviously has a screw loose.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now.

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I prefer cats to dogs. They need less maintenance and attention and doesn’t bark the beejesus out of people and drive me insane.
Unfortunately, you can always be sure that your dog is hanging around waiting for you to get home.
As for your feline pet, I can safely bet that you have to go in search of them in some nook or cranny after a hard’s day of work.

Who knows? One day, I might actually get a dog because it’s really does make a more comforting companion. I have my needy days after all. Oh, bother!

Back to Basics

I mentioned in a previous entry about being an experimental dresser. Yep, sometimes I do don on a freaking weird ensemble. On good days, I can go from Gwen Stefani’s cool, Nicole Kidman’s chic, Sarah Jessica Parker’s whimsical, Avril Lavigne’s punk, Jennifer Aniston’s casual to Jessica Alba’s sexy.

Of course, the ability to capture celebrity styles is a simple case of monkey mirroring. At the end of the day however, my personal style is a deeply entrenched classic lady look. That means sweet dresses that keep the skin under wraps. Yes, when I was 20, it does seem a little too early to be looking like a Stepford wife. But now, the time is ripe for me to return to what ‘Ivy’ truly looks like. Well, at least, for my sane days. ;-P

Audrey Hepburn is my style inspiration

I love girly frocks like these!!!

Rainie Yang's strawberry dress screams cute and lady! I want to add it to my collection!

The Pursuit of Happiness

A mum was nursing her baby beneath a flyover. Watched as her elder son navigated through the traffic asking for donations from drivers as their vehicles stop at a busy road junction.

We wound down our window and handed him some spare change. “谢谢你,谢谢你!” He thanked us profusely and bowed his head a couple of times in gratitude before rapidly heading for another vehicle. Some drivers dismissed him with curt waves and soon the lights turned green and the flow of traffic resumed. He dashed nimbly to take shelter by his mother’s side and was on full alert for the next change in traffic lights.

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Dusk. Time to work. The neon lights lights up the neighbourhood. As people head quickly for the eateries to settle their fuss-free dinner, scantily clad girls sit prettily on their chairs looking out of their shops. Outside, passersby walk hastily by. The sun has set and the weather is too chilly to stay outdoors.

“休闲洗头, 按摩敲背”their shops advertise. “挂羊肉卖狗肉”. Shady transactions take place behind the closed doors of the salons. Yes, there’s happiness to be bought, just name a price.

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I was suddenly brought back to a distant memory of a conversation between a friend and I. “Singaporean girls are too greedy. You girls make endless demands. You want everything. Such a hard to please bunch! No wonder Singaporean men are settling for more docile brides from Vietnam and China!” There was contempt in his voice.

I sneered. “Greedy? Hard to please? Difficult?” Don’t even let me get started. The truth is as clear as day. The ready-to-marry brides that you get to pick from the photo folder. Yes, they loved you before they met you. How sweet.

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Happiness. A state of well being that people are inclined to pursue relentlessly. It means different things to different people.
But more importantly, the happiness we seek is never but the same.

A peasant girl escapes from her abusive father by marrying a boar of a farmer who treats her as a human producing factory. She feels glad she finally has a family to call her own. Paris Hilton is unhappy. She can buy all the handbags in the world and loads them into her swanky Bentley. Yet, all she wants for Christmas is a non droopy left eye.

Are we asking for too much? Or does the circumstance allow us to desire for more?
The pursuit of happiness is then a never ending journey; it’s just that we are on different paths.

Who are we to judge?

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The day’s too bright and sunny for anyone to feel down. Sunshine has an uplifting effect on people, much as girls hate it for its skin damaging UV rays. But sunlight is warm and good for the soul. When it leaves, the dark consumes our energy and leaves us drained of life. Devoid of hope and joy, morbid and cold.

Sometimes when we are more perceptive, the surreality of our existence suddenly grips us. Everything we see, every breath we take and the very life we are living out seems somewhat un-real.

So, this is Me. So, this is my life. So, I exist.

The thing is that we know every day is one day closer to death. Everyday we are dying. And for all that we do and will do, everything comes to naught the day we cease breathing.

So, what if instead of traveling the whole journey, we take the express lane?

Hemingway put a bullet in his brain; Virginia Woolf waded into River Ouse and never surfaced; poor Sylvia Plath gassed herself grey.

Beyond Beauty

This entry is inspired by my sister who asked me about the scar on her leg one Sunday evening. She had a bad fall recently and is healing a visible scar on one of her leg. Obviously I think that it’s just a matter of time before it fades away. However, she seems to be rather self conscious because of this temporary affliction and sought my opinion as to whether to don on short skirts while nursing that lesion.

Much cliché as it may sound, nobody’s physically perfect. Nicole Kidman has cellulite, Angelina Jolie has dry flaky lips, Britney Spears is pudgy and has acne and Zhang Ziyi has asymmetrical eyes. Beautiful celebrities have the means to do something to correct their flaws, but that does not mean such imperfections are nonexistent.

However, I am not going to spin out fluffy advice that confidence enhances one’s outwardly beauty. It does, but we still have to deal with our insecurities. I am not an advocate of maxims that are easier said than done.

What I would like to point out is that we have to embrace our flawed physical selves with the assurance that it’s not going to make us lesser beings in the eyes of those who love us.

Take a look at your favourite teddy. He looks rather crummy after so many years of silent companionship. Do you still love him? Do you discard your ‘smelly’ security blanket that has seen you through your childhood years? What about your limping dog plagued by arthritis brought on by age?
Does our love for any of these things lessen because they are no longer clean and new, bright and beautiful?
I hope your answer is a resounding NO.

Attraction is subjective. Different images move us to different degrees. Different people capture our attention and only a selected few take our breath away.

Why should your small eyes, troubled skin, frizzy hair and less than toned body bother you NOW when it is the entirety of your unique beauty that has enthralled your significant half? If we like what we see in you, why are you still so uncomfortable in your own skin? Why do you magnify your flaws when we barely even notice them?

When people relentlessly pursue an unrealistic standard of physical perfection, they unwittingly unleash their inner demons and allow them to run amok thus turning their lives topsy turvy. A person may look smashing at first glance but if she fusses about her weight during every meal, obsesses about being the most stunning person at every event, needs to take picture perfect photos all the time and plans with exact detail which body parts to change on her next visit to the plastic surgeon, it makes her the most insufferable person to be around.

And if a person cannot go beyond the surface to know the gem the lies in you, or look at you adoringly when you are stripped of face paint and other embellishment, then…it’s not real love, is it?

So quit being insecure and concentrate on basking in the affection you receive from those who love you—warts and all.

2006 in Retrospect

Year of 2006

It’s coming to a close in an hour's time—Singapore time.

Yes indeed.

Before I herald in 2007 with renewed hope and vigour, perhaps it’s good to think about the Year of 06 in retrospect.

It’s been a year of weddings. Some of my peers have settled down happily. Happily because I know they are sure to experience marital bliss with their respective partners. It’s easy to tell whether one has made the right choice just from the smile on their faces. The unhappiest wedding I have witnessed so far was that of my older cousin, Mandy. She was practically sulking at her wedding dinner, wearing a frumpy outfit. But it was also the most delicious wedding dinner I have tasted. A Cantonese restaurant called Lei Garden in Chijmes. Come to think of it, she got married end 2005 instead of 06.

It’s also the year in which I began blogging with more conviction. Truth be told, my blog has a low readership. It’s funny that I still continue churning out entries after entries. I guess this is what they call writing for passion. When something is driven by passion—in the absence of vanity, egoism, and concern for profit margins, it becomes sustainable.
I don’t find my writing especially enlightening, but it gives me great self satisfaction that is unsupported by statistics.

I haven’t gotten down to penning my first book, but this appears to be a good start. A consummate author has to be in her element before she can produce good stuff. I am just sharpening the sword, so to speak, in the year of 06.

06 hasn’t been a good financial year for me. I know the market is bullish, but it doesn’t affect my bank account in any manner. In fact, it’s been a year of budget deficit for me. I believe that things are looking up for 07. That belief is backed by sheer drive and determination coupled with projections from our good ol' economists.

06 has also been a year of my quarter life crisis. Since I stated previously that I am a late bloomer, my identity crisis started only early this year. A time when I have to experiment with conflicting styles (remember the coloured contacts fiasco? Yea…). A time of struggle with my seemingly disparate perspectives. I am glad that as the year comes to a end, I feel greatly assured of being the Ivy I truly am.

A good year? Hm…I would rather say, “It’s as good as it gets”.

If Wishes Were Horses…

Christmases, Birthdays, Valentine’s Days, Anniversaries.

These occasions are worth looking forward to, but sometimes, they are rather painful events if we are stuck in a rut for gift ideas.

The Straits Times recently featured an article in which the participants surveyed picked chocolates and sweets as their most hated gift items. It seems that many would buy confectionery for others, but prefer not to receive them in return. Whatever happened to the advice of doing unto others what you want others do unto you?

Honestly, are chocolates really that bad? Well, I guess you will have to know if the recipient of your generosity has a sweet tooth or is unfortunately, suffering from a diabetic condition.
Other than that, I don’t think anyone will reject GODIVA. I won’t. Bring them on. ;-)

Back to the topic of gifts and such.

A couple of weeks back, Aileen celebrated her 22nd birthday. Her significant other bought her a couple of nice presents, but I thought that huge white quilted bag was very ugly (was because it no longer exists as part of her property, she went to do an exchange for a black tote).

Alright, besides the fact that it looked dated, the problem with this particular present is that it comes in white. Aileen will not be able to use it after 3 months. It will get so dirty that it has to be sent to the laundromat frequently or risk getting chucked in a corner of her bedroom floor.
Seriously, doesn’t that guy know that my dear sister is a dust magnet?

I then asked her if she has a wish list. I notice that many bloggers put up a wish list on their site. And I am all for it. In fact, I love looking through these lists. Even if I cannot afford to buy whatever is on that list for them, I would have a good idea of the type of substitutes that would delight them just as much.

Aileen begs to defer. She feels that a wish list takes allows the giver to not put in effort to select an appropriate gift for her. Moreover, it takes away the element of surprise when she unwraps the gift.

Oh well, I am certain that she will get more shocks than pleasant surprises down the road.

PS: Quilted bags are very much in fashion. In fact, thanks to Chanel, they were never out. But sometimes, depending on the design, it can go awfully wrong. (Just like the one Aileen received).
I recently bought a rather affordable one myself. I was so drawn to the bag that I even bought the display piece. For whatever reason I don’t know. It simply had the X-factor.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that it resembles a Marc Jacobs Stam bag (thanks Min for putting up that picture!)

Marc Jacobs Stam Bag

My Black Quilted Bag

Ah, even though I do not know that it’s long been around from his Resort 2006 collection, I am glad I still have an eye for tasteful looking pieces.
What a steal! Got mine for $27 SGD.

In Search of Missing Pieces

The problem with growing up too soon is that you miss some rites and passages that most people go through.
We are nearing the close of yet another year and time seems to fly—too fast.
It’s times like these when I wonder in retrospect “How did all these years pass me by? What have I been doing? What are the beautiful/ bittersweet memories that I have collected along the way?”

My existence seems too surreal...whenever I look back.

I can recollect my childhood years in the most of vivid colours. I can still hear my giggles of happiness, feel my hot tears of sadness, and remember all the places I have been to.

My adolescent years however are littered with many empty spaces. Like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle, there are pieces missing from the picture.

In the end, I became a young lady who could not identify with many of her peers.
I cannot understand the pain of a broken heart, the joys of sharing an expensive Sweden’s sundae on a limited allowance, the ecstasy of winning a netball tournament.
My teenage years were spent chasing Grade As for academic subjects. It mattered to everyone around me then. Parents, teachers, principals (who will give prep talks during level assembly) and classmates. It wasn’t difficult since that was all I am required to do. But it was awfully boring.

I remember wanting to join the netball team when I started Secondary One. To my chagrin, my mother felt that it would make me too tomboyish for my own good. Not to mention the amount of damage the sport would do for my young skin. I was informed that I should not get into a boy-girl relationship too, since I was too young to understand love and studies come first. Honestly, I wasn’t even interested in guys back then. I was more into collecting pretty hair accessories and stuff toys. (Yea, I am a late bloomer in this department)

And so, I joined some apparently geeky drama and debate society. Away from all sunny activities. Life was good for us in ELDDS. We need not train rigorously in the heat, do marching drills and engage in any form of masochistic activities. When I started stage acting I took to it like a fish to water. I love the idea of living out the lives of other people without suffering any of the repercussions their lifestyle brings. That’s one of the joys of acting. It’s a form of escapism.

In adulthood, I missed out on several other things. One of which is clubbing. No, I didn’t attend any bashes organized in university. I didn’t hang out with people who were club goers. Collectively, we hated loud music, tobacco smoke and the nightlife. So there you have it.

I have yet to step foot into a club.

I know nuts about Zouk or MoS (Ministry of Sound).

Heck, I can’t even drive there!!! Cos I am unfamiliar with the parking and the club locations.

Aileen told me that on free entry days, the queues are horrendous and there are people trying to gain entry by pulling a fast one—going under barricades and worming their way through. I hate queuing but I wouldn’t stoop this low.

Like all other things I am not inclined towards, I have this inertia to experience the club scene in Singapore. Country bumpkin? But reminding myself of crowds, smoke, and noise make me think twice before venturing out. Yet, I just have to see it for myself, am I not right? To understand others, to gain an insight into society, and heck! For the fun of it.

Now I am presented with a sweet deal. A special invitation. Free priority entry into MoS. Should I, should I not? Toss a coin? No, let the weather decide.

Rising Temperatures in Antarctica

Tap Dancing Penguins!!!!??? Nothing could be further from the truth. Penguins waddle gracelessly on land and only transform into torpedo-like, lean mean swimming machines underwater.

Oh, never mind reality!

“Happy Feet” is the best movie of the 2006! Never ever miss it, alright? Best to catch it in the cinemas and not hold out for its DVD release. I am sure everyone walked out from the theatres—happy.

So, nope, no spoilers for this movie. YOU GO WATCH IT YOURSELF. And shame on you if you want to illegally download this one.

In all, it’s a hilarious movie that will have you up in stitches; meaningful enough for you to appreciate the tenacious nature of penguins, and so infectious that you actually tap your feet and jiggle your shoulders to the rhythm.

Tone deaf Mumble
I exclaimed about his blue eyes when he tumbled out of his shell.
But you know what? He’s an albino Emperor penguin!!! But there wasn’t any mention in the entire film because living things with albinism are generally as healthy as the rest of their species.
Still, it adds on to poor Mumble’s outwardly difference from his flock.

Cool Egoistic Ramon

(voiced by Robin Williams—the voiceover master!)

Watch it for the CG effects; watch it for its feel-good eco-friendly storyline. Have a few good laughs, groove to the beat and shake your booty while walking out from the theatres.

Substance beneath the fun: (my interpretation)

1. Man is the main destroyer of the ecosystem.
2. Blind faith will lead you onto the road to self annihilation.
3. Your ______ leaders are not right all the time (insert whatever term that applies).
4. Appealing to others’ better nature is tough. Get them to like you first.
5. Having exotic things makes you special. (a tagged Boss Skua and Lovelace with a plastic six packed neck ring)
6. Capitalize on your wisdom to get wealthy.
7. Give vague answers to questions you don’t know. (don't some lecturers do that all the time?!)
8. It’s alright to be different. Seek out an audience who appreciates your talent.

9. If you can’t sing live, try Lip Synching.
10. It’s good to have company but sometimes, you need to journey alone to seek out your answers.

Funniest Movie Moment:

Leopard Seal: Come here you sausage. I take you with ketchup.

Latin Penguins: But first you must catch up! [hahaha]

Leopard Seal: I know where you live.

Ramon: Yeah, it's called LAND, lardface!
(more taunting laughter)

A madcap quintet of Adelie Penguins

Lovelace the Rockhopper Penguin

Movie Trivia:
The late Steve Irwin provides the voice of an elephant seal who helps point Mumble in the right direction.

My up close and personal encounter with a fairy penguin (@ Bicheno Tasmania):

Boy, it sure looked rather pissed with a bunch of tourists peering at it.

Monday Blues

Feel rather sluggish and dull because of the rainy weather.
There’s only 1 word to describe this lackadaisical mood, and that’s “Sian”.
(My Singaporean counterparts will be able to understand this term.)


Has been raining the entire day and it is rather cold. Brrrr……

I took a look at my shoe rack and mulled over whether it’s time to wear my boots. (They have been in cold storage since I returned from Shanghai in February). Pretty things, but unpractical for sunny Singapore. I decided against the idea, since I wouldn’t risk mould and wetness on the leather, suede and furry bits. What use are they to me now? I moped over how much I spent on them. Unless I travel to temperate countries frequently…

Nevertheless, I hate cold rainy weather. In wintry places, I turn very unproductive for all I would want to do is sit near a radiator, hold a nice hot cup of Milo in my hands and watch the steam rise merrily from it. I will get the “sniffles” and feel utterly miserable. I hate being clothed in heavy layers because toilet trips would be a terrible hassle. I am plagued with great drowsiness during noon time and would take frequent forty winks. Not to mention outdoor walks. You may think it romantic (like scenes from the Korean drama of “Winter Sonata”) but nothing can be further from the truth. I will start trembling uncontrollably once I am out and at the mercy of the weather elements. My nose tip feels icy all the time and my fingers will go numb when I don’t wear my gloves (but I hate the restriction of gloves on the agility of my fingers!!!).

So there you have it, I am born to be a tropical gal. I dislike the grey dreary winter. I know many in Singapore would give an arm and a leg to enjoy the lovely coldness of winter, but not me.

Courage My Love!

If I were to dabble in the entertainment scene, I would choose to be…A Comedian!

Well, well, well, that comes across as a surprise right? Considering my half-past-six jokes, corny one liners and lame celebrity impersonations. But I guess I do a decent job of cracking people up when my ice-queen persona thaw to reveal the funnybone in me.

Why comedy? Personally, it is one of the most challenging and interesting aspects of entertainment. It is easier to look picture perfect pretty and have the world in awe of your airbrushed magazine shots. It’s much easier to immerse in the role of a scripted drama character and win fans over.

But comedy? That’s tricky. Over-the-top attempts to win laughs will irk the audience, subtle and dry humour may bring out the yawns. Not to mention that people expect comedians to be funny all the time. If someone see Gurmit Singh without a smile and a ready joke to offer, they may think he is

a) arrogant

b) has issues or

c) in a bad mood.

Truth is, none of the above may apply, and he may well be just in his “NORMAL” mode.

Comedians are a magnet for harsh detractors and critically mean audiences alike. Since they are often in the most preposterous costumes and exaggerated make-up, they come across as eager to please ‘clowns’ cavorting around to amuse viewers. And yes, because they don’t look well-put together, people are inclined to magnify their flaws and pass unkind comments. Think Patricia Mok and Mark Lee and you kind of get the picture.

No one takes me seriously, even on my off days

Thing is, the art of making people laugh is serious business. In-your-face jokes may come across as too slapstick; stand-up comedy acts need a combination of timing, momentum and energy to capture interest and sustain the laughs; sophisticated wit has to be dispensed before the right audience (lest you look like an idiot who is the only one amused) and there is a call for sensitivity when touching on certain subject matter because not everyone ‘can take it’ and will be offended.

Anyway, one of local television’s best talent competitions for 2006 is MediaCorp’s Channel 8 “The Ultimate Comedian”.

It’s more original, not a spin-off of the Idol series and I feel that the contestants really deserve great credit. I didn’t follow the series initially but waited for the semi-finals rounds. That’s when the really bad has already been eliminated. It's down to four finalists now. 3 gals and a duo of guys.

The Female Finalists:

The very cute Ho Ailing

A very Versatile Janice Ang

A bubbly Tay Yin Yin (gungho and has a self deprecating sense of humor)

All 3 female contestants have their individual strengths. So, I can’t really choose a personal favourite. I am just hoping this time round, a lady would emerge the winner. Really respect them for their passion and courage to do comedy.

In the meantime, I will continue to perfect my repertoire of accented English (Thai, Hong Kong, Filipino, Indian, British accented English). Aileen and I love to amuse ourselves. We hope to become as good as Ruby Pan one day.

Random Rants

I am into cutesy stuff and truly believe that if I buy a small car, I will definitely spray it in a shade of hot pink and fluff it up. Frivolous as it may seem, it will still be fitting of the economical car that I am driving. Obviously, I will not vandalize my Ferrari in a similar fashion. And a Porsche should always look posh.

But when I see dogs in togs, I cannot really understand why humans are cruel enough to don on those absolutely ridiculous Burberry plaid jackets on their pups. What the Hell?

Cute, yes. I will coo for a second or two when I chance upon a well dressed dog. But I still deem it rather ludicrous.
Worse, some dogs wear shoes and I can see that they are slipping occasionally due to poor contact with the ground.

So, when I read about stupid ladies making public statements about how their dogs are vain and love parading in front of the mirror to check their attire out, I can feel puke dripping out of my nostrils.

Will you give me a biscuit after I am done with amusing you?

Scenario 1: Dog wags its tail after owner put clothes on it
Human Interpretation: Oh, my ‘baby’ loves his new clothes!!!
Dog Language: If I wag my tail hard enough, maybe I can shake this piece of cloth off my body.

Scenario 2: Dog walks in front of a mirror with his clothes on
Human Interpretation: Look! My Tinkerbelle is admiring herself in front of the mirror!
Dog Language: Good grief! I am an utter disgrace to my kind. Tell me how am I going out in this get-up? Now, can someone toss me a paper bag?

Scenario 3: Dog runs about with its tongue sticking out.
Human Interpretation: WOW! See how excited my little one is over his new set of clothes!
Dog Language: Freaking hot sia. HELP! Someone, anyone, “Call SPCA”!

So, you think I look cute like that? Groan. Even Popeye will laugh at me...

Seriously, pet owners can give their pets a massage, but buying clothes for their furry companions? (*rolls eyes*) Omigod. They should spend the money to feed their shoe addiction or buy another set of pretty lingerie. And yes, Tinkerbelle will appreciate a packet of Beef Flavoured Premium Dog Biscuits more than a Gucci tee.

Everyone loves a naked Elmo!