Beyond Beauty

This entry is inspired by my sister who asked me about the scar on her leg one Sunday evening. She had a bad fall recently and is healing a visible scar on one of her leg. Obviously I think that it’s just a matter of time before it fades away. However, she seems to be rather self conscious because of this temporary affliction and sought my opinion as to whether to don on short skirts while nursing that lesion.

Much cliché as it may sound, nobody’s physically perfect. Nicole Kidman has cellulite, Angelina Jolie has dry flaky lips, Britney Spears is pudgy and has acne and Zhang Ziyi has asymmetrical eyes. Beautiful celebrities have the means to do something to correct their flaws, but that does not mean such imperfections are nonexistent.

However, I am not going to spin out fluffy advice that confidence enhances one’s outwardly beauty. It does, but we still have to deal with our insecurities. I am not an advocate of maxims that are easier said than done.

What I would like to point out is that we have to embrace our flawed physical selves with the assurance that it’s not going to make us lesser beings in the eyes of those who love us.

Take a look at your favourite teddy. He looks rather crummy after so many years of silent companionship. Do you still love him? Do you discard your ‘smelly’ security blanket that has seen you through your childhood years? What about your limping dog plagued by arthritis brought on by age?
Does our love for any of these things lessen because they are no longer clean and new, bright and beautiful?
I hope your answer is a resounding NO.

Attraction is subjective. Different images move us to different degrees. Different people capture our attention and only a selected few take our breath away.

Why should your small eyes, troubled skin, frizzy hair and less than toned body bother you NOW when it is the entirety of your unique beauty that has enthralled your significant half? If we like what we see in you, why are you still so uncomfortable in your own skin? Why do you magnify your flaws when we barely even notice them?

When people relentlessly pursue an unrealistic standard of physical perfection, they unwittingly unleash their inner demons and allow them to run amok thus turning their lives topsy turvy. A person may look smashing at first glance but if she fusses about her weight during every meal, obsesses about being the most stunning person at every event, needs to take picture perfect photos all the time and plans with exact detail which body parts to change on her next visit to the plastic surgeon, it makes her the most insufferable person to be around.

And if a person cannot go beyond the surface to know the gem the lies in you, or look at you adoringly when you are stripped of face paint and other embellishment, then…it’s not real love, is it?

So quit being insecure and concentrate on basking in the affection you receive from those who love you—warts and all.