Monday, November 06, 2006

Random Rants

I am into cutesy stuff and truly believe that if I buy a small car, I will definitely spray it in a shade of hot pink and fluff it up. Frivolous as it may seem, it will still be fitting of the economical car that I am driving. Obviously, I will not vandalize my Ferrari in a similar fashion. And a Porsche should always look posh.

But when I see dogs in togs, I cannot really understand why humans are cruel enough to don on those absolutely ridiculous Burberry plaid jackets on their pups. What the Hell?

Cute, yes. I will coo for a second or two when I chance upon a well dressed dog. But I still deem it rather ludicrous.
Worse, some dogs wear shoes and I can see that they are slipping occasionally due to poor contact with the ground.

So, when I read about stupid ladies making public statements about how their dogs are vain and love parading in front of the mirror to check their attire out, I can feel puke dripping out of my nostrils.

Will you give me a biscuit after I am done with amusing you?

Scenario 1: Dog wags its tail after owner put clothes on it
Human Interpretation: Oh, my ‘baby’ loves his new clothes!!!
Dog Language: If I wag my tail hard enough, maybe I can shake this piece of cloth off my body.

Scenario 2: Dog walks in front of a mirror with his clothes on
Human Interpretation: Look! My Tinkerbelle is admiring herself in front of the mirror!
Dog Language: Good grief! I am an utter disgrace to my kind. Tell me how am I going out in this get-up? Now, can someone toss me a paper bag?

Scenario 3: Dog runs about with its tongue sticking out.
Human Interpretation: WOW! See how excited my little one is over his new set of clothes!
Dog Language: Freaking hot sia. HELP! Someone, anyone, “Call SPCA”!

So, you think I look cute like that? Groan. Even Popeye will laugh at me...

Seriously, pet owners can give their pets a massage, but buying clothes for their furry companions? (*rolls eyes*) Omigod. They should spend the money to feed their shoe addiction or buy another set of pretty lingerie. And yes, Tinkerbelle will appreciate a packet of Beef Flavoured Premium Dog Biscuits more than a Gucci tee.

Everyone loves a naked Elmo!

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