Sunday, January 31, 2010

Blindsided

Depression sneaked up on me this Sunday evening. An utter sense of helplessness and "poverty" consumed me and left me feeling completely wretched. Soon I was reduced to a teary mess and I am pretty sure this emotional breakdown is not due to hormonal imbalance that I can blame physiology for.
No, I am not in any form of debt but I am immensely impoverished in recent times. Perhaps it's a 'change in lifestyle' shock symptom. Maybe it's because my bank statement is translating into a bearish graph. Whatever it is, while people are moody over their pittance of an annual bonus/ increment, I bemoan the non-existence of these in my current situation. And it gets to me that I do not know when I will 'come out of the woods'. Or can I get out of it alive?
It doesn't help that Chinese New Year is around the corner and I am expected to distribute generous tokens of appreciation to the elders this year. This exacerbates my pain and I sink further into the quagmire of total despair.
Sleep has always been an amazing panacea. I hope this time, it does its magic once again.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Sensei Michael said...

I am perhaps in no position to encourage you, being possibly in an even more difficult position myself. Depression is a very tough demon to fight off, and I have tangled with it many times.

Hang on there, xiaomei! May the grace and goodness of God be with you, and may many blessings be upon you, till your cup overflows. Amen.

Hugz.

5:42 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

I share your pain my friend! Owning / furnishing a house is no joke... and seeing your bank account dwindling really makes one feel uberly demotivated!!

Hope you feel better soon!! Things WILL be better! :)

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

quite interesting post. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did anyone hear that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

11:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

quite interesting post. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you learn that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

12:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you hear that some chinese hacker had busted twitter yesterday again.

12:35 AM  

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