Thursday, June 30, 2005

Touched By An Angel

This entry is especially dedicated to a dear friend, G.K. You know who you are (I’ve preserved your anonymity and yet, made it so obvious that this one’s for you…). A dear friend who’s going through a bad patch right now. It contains everything that I want to tell you. Hopefully, you won’t dismiss it too quickly with a “Whatever”… [You know why? Cos it’s bloody dawn, I can see clouds visibly in the sky already and I still care enough to write this for you.]—shakes fists violently into your face and glares at you with bloodshot eyes. Nah…I am actually giving you my sweetest, most reassuring smile, complete with a halo above my head. ;-)

Have anyone of you been betrayed by friends? Gotten stabbed in the back? Lost hope in the goodness of Man? Perhaps on a lesser scale, you feel forgotten by the buddies you have spent time comforting in their darkest hour of need, only to find that they have moved on happier and have left you stranded in the middle of life’s road, biting the dust? Anger, bitterness and most of all, disappointment will consume your entire being, eating away at your soul, till you become Darth Vader II (now, give me your best shot at constricted breathing—Arh…). Sometimes, we are lucky. We meet new angels and move on too. But there are others who are not as fortunate. They have sunk too deeply into their quagmire of despair, isolating themselves from others, till it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me. I am going to eat some worms. Yum Yum..”

Lighthearted jokes aside, there will be certain occasions in our lives whereby we feel very spent, having expended great amounts of energy into showing care and concern for others, lending them a listening ear, giving them a shoulder to cry on and trying to help them solve their problems. Sometimes, we become their best friends in life, but often, they move on a happier new phase in their lives, and FORGET about us. And where does it leave us? Nowhere. How do we feel? Used and discarded. Cursed ingrates, they are! Humans are all mean, self-centred beings. Everyone has a motive; you are just a means to help them achieve their ends. Sounds familiar, G.K.?

Actually, I am not denying that this phenomenon exists in real life. Often, humans are governed by their ugly, ‘Me First’ Attitude. Many a times, it’s all about ME, Me, and me. ‘Look at me, listen to me, help me!’ and when they have finally gotten all the attention and aid they seek, they skipped away from their more self-sacrificial counterparts. Happy and fulfilled. And then, the long-suffering people they have unloaded all the problems to, are left stinking alone, feeling like they are the world’s greatest emotional rubbish dump centre.

The problem with this is that, we ALL have a choice as to whether we want to be our friend’s support in their times of need. If the answer is a noble ‘YES’, then, we have to possess an altruistic attitude when we extend our help. And by that, I mean, Expect NOTHING in return. No gratitude, no reciprocal kindness, NO NOTHING. All done in the true spirit of volunteerism. You have to exhibit the magnanimity to give and receive nothing in return. If not, run away from them fast. Heck with their problems, it's really not your problem anyway.

It would be our own undoing to expect even the barest hint of gratitude from the people we assist. With that, the help becomes conditional. That serves as the root of our misery. Especially when we feel ‘it’s a thankless job’. We start to view humans as self-gratifying creatures, awful, practical and unkind.

When you view the world in such bleak colours, there is no way you will ever be happy. You may ask, “I help people when they need me, but who’s going to help me? NO ONE.” My dear G.K., have you ever sought help then? Your distress call? Internalised? Then only God can hear.

Ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and you shall find. So, just as others come to you for help, you shall have to approach others for their support. Or else, who will know?

In life, people are constantly on the move. People enter and exit our lives during the different phases of our journey. We too will waltz in and out of the lives of many others we meet. Make a grand entrance and exit gracefully. Sometimes, even I feel sad that the parting is pre-mature and mourn for the ‘loss’ of some dear faces. Sometimes, I forget to thank them. But, they will always be in the recesses of my memory…and be fondly remembered.

So, dear G.K., see yourself as a lovely angel, who has done a great service to some people. Even if it’s a thankless job, possess the generosity in spirit to give them the benefit of the doubt. They move on, but angels too, move on.

And where in thou art is your angel? Is there really no one out there? Cold, heartless world? No siree, she’s somewhere out there. But she may be a little late, cos, she’s mending her wings.

~(I hope you feel better now. I always want my friends to be happy. Life’s too short to indulge in misery.)~

P/S No trivia for this post. Nothing about it is trivial. =)


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