Monday, October 15, 2007

The End of the Wick

Another relative is dying. A much beloved uncle. Mum insisted I make the dreaded visit once again. I am not a heartless gal but I had one uncle died on me the previous time (literally when I saw him) and it left much consternation that I may well face a similar situation once again.

I don’t do Death well. I hate seeing dying people because they remind me of the transience of life. Most of the time, I conveniently put this reality at the back of my mind and it comforts me to a great degree.

This visit is particularly heart-wrenching. What greeted me was a wasted heap of a man who was once so handsome he made girls swoon. He was reduced to skin and bones, had hollowed out eyes and the flesh on his back had rotted away as he had been bedridden for a long time. Deaf and unable to speak, his glassy eyes were the only windows to his emotions. But the look he gave was too haunting and it would plague me for a long time to come.

This is a man who has a beautiful house, a supportive wife and 2 lovely daughters. He had spent his life working hard at his business and giving nary much time for his family and his own leisure. What was unfortunate is that a good portion of his wealth is used to finance his medical bills in recent years and he never really had the chance to spend it more meaningfully than he would have liked.

It is painful to see him reduced to being a dependent dying man on his bed. As we went home that day, Dad said something insightful. He said “When asked about their greatest regret on their deathbeds, most would reply that they had not spent enough quality time with their families”.
Bravo Dad! Well said.
It’s true. When one has reached the end of the road, tangible things like money and fame doesn’t really matter anymore. It does put things into perspective.
“Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time... It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia

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Blogger crazychick said...

That's so sad :( it always affects me pretty badly to see ppl sick and helpless on the hospital bed. Indeed we should live life meaningfully and seize the day while we still can... life is too short for regrets.

*hugs* feel better soon dear girl.

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Lani said...

Its emotional to see someone close being so sick, but everyone has to go through that life cycle somehow. Be well Ivy.

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello dear Ivy~ *BIG HUGS* for u~
I totally agree with u tat $$$ doesn't mean much anymore in times like this~
Life is fragile, really must cherish and be happy in life~
U must take care always too~
Waiting for more of your entries!!! :)
And so happy to 'see' your comment on my blog again!!!
Keep in touch, dear~ And take care always~ :) :) :)

11:09 PM  
Blogger yuE said...

sometimes, when they leave earth, they move on to a better place up there with the angels..

12:56 AM  
Anonymous Wilfrid said...

Your dad's words are so true. That's why I really care less about what I do from 9 to 5 but rather the time I spend with whom I am close to ... like my family and friends.

You take care, Ivy.

1:03 AM  
Blogger I.V.Y. said...

Dear friends,
I will take all your wise words to heart. And yes Wilfrid, you are doing the right thing. I will follow suit--for a better quality life. =)

1:48 PM  

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