Wedding Bells Blues

Another friend is getting married today! That’s like the second wedding within a month. Weddings always put me in a pensive mood. Why? Because of a quarter-life crisis I am experiencing, that’s why.

My peers and I are at an age whereby we should be settling down or if not, having an exciting time of living life to the fullest. It should be a period of fascinating discovery, hard work, and yet, above all else, attaining a sense of groundedness. This sense of surety may come in the form of financial independence, newly found faith, finding the right one and taking wedding vows or obtaining the right directions for the path to success in one’s undertakings.

To most people, marrying The Final and ‘Most Right’ person they meet completes their life. In fact, when you have that aspect of your life taken care of, you can go out and conquer the world.

However, weddings are mournful precisely because the happiness you are witnessing does not apply to you. It means that you are left out by Cupid’s blessed arrows. Or is a telling sign that you are too difficult to be selected in the first place. Or that the person you are with does not want to marry you or vice versa.

Instead of moping over these depressing half-truths, I decided to draw up a Fun List of the Reasons People Hate Wedding Dinners.

Ten Reasons Why Weddings Suck:
1. The ‘Sweet Moments of Mr. A and Miss B’ slideshow repeating its 100th run on the screen is giving you diabetes.

2. The bride has seven wedding gown changes and all of them are Vera Wang’s creations.

3. The food is extremely delicious but your dress is too tight to stuff another abalone down your gastro-intestinal tract.

4. After the 7th course serving, you start having difficulty in breathing and concentrates on keeping conscious till the next toilet trip to loosen the zipper… In the meantime, you try to look natural and smile politely every 5 min.

5. Watching paint dry is more interesting than talking to the poker faced strangers seated around the dinner table.

6. The ang pow you gave contains your last 100 bucks from your bank account.

7. Your university classmate is going on tirelessly about his pay bonuses, luxury car, newly bought condominium in District 10 and pending BIG promotion. Your mind is still on your last 100 bucks, which happens to be on the reception table outside the ballroom.

8. The fairytale wedding is picture perfect and fantastic down to the very last detail. Your cheapskate fiancé next to you frowns disapprovingly at the ostentatious display of extravagance and comments that he prefers weddings to be ‘simple’ affairs-especially his.

9. You spend the rest of the night picturing your soon-to-be void deck wedding dinner with the crickets as percussionists and bullfrogs as singers. And yes, your wedding gown, a real steal at 20% off from This Fashion.

10. You really want the ‘Yum Seng’ session to be over and done with fast, sit down and finish the food. What? You have to ‘Yum Seng’ 3 times????!!!! The soccer match starts at 11pm for Christ's sake!

Love-O-Meter Gauge (from the not so professional love guru):
If you see yourself marrying the person you are with right now; the odds are: You have found the right one. If you can’t picture that, I think you should stop wasting each other’s time and youth. Move on…