Thursday, June 09, 2005

25 Questions Men Want to Ask Women

Yep, today I shall provide some of my responses to an article featured on MSN. Though I think they are not exactly really representative of the burning questions most guys would like to ask…but here goes. (Disclaimer: This is solely my side of the coin...)

25 questions men want to ask women
By Ted Kluck
It's time to come clean, gents. Here and now, for all the world to see, I feel compelled to reveal all the questions men have crawling around in their heads — the questions we're desperate to have answered but scared to death to ask our women.

1. Why do you all wish we were more like John Cusack?

Answer: John Cusack? Well, cos, he’s always being cast as the nice, sensitive and very likeable guy in his movies. I like him as Jonathan Trager in “Serendipity”. I am sure his upcoming show, “Must Like Dogs” makes him very appealing to the audience too.

2. Do you or don’t you want us to open the door for you? Just let us know, and we’ll act accordingly.

Answer: Duh, of cos! It’s the least a gentleman should do. It reflects a lot on one’s upbringing. Do it for everyone (man, woman, the elderly and the young please!) A small gesture goes a long way. Brownie points for all who does it. By the way, ladies should help open doors too, especially when your guy has his hands full with your shopping bags.

3. How can you look so cute in pigtails?

Answer: Cos, I am naturally cute…Or could it be your fascination with the Lolita look? =P

4. Why the fascination with Harrison Ford? He’s old enough to be your father, for crying out loud? Seriously.

Answer: Personally, Harrison Ford’s not my type. SEAN CONNERY is the one who is the object of my fantasy. Haha. Why, you guys are also fascinated with mother figures too…On a serious note, that is because they just get better with age. Take comfort in that knowledge that we’ll love you more with each passing day/ year. Check out Sean at this site and you’ll know why he’s my fave: Philanthropic, loving husband and eyes that exude dependability. Need I say more?

5. When you ask "Does this look okay?" do you want honesty or support? We really can do both.

Answer: Depends on your spouse/ partner—think with her in mind. Is she a person who needs assurance more than honesty? In my opinion, a self-assured lady can carry off the most terrible outfits and accessories with grace and charm.

6. How can you complain endlessly about having "so much work to do" and then find the time to go shopping or talk to someone on the phone for two hours?

Answer: That just means one prioritizes those activities over the urgency of work. Tough luck.

7. Do you ever get tired of watching The Sound of Music?

Answer: Yes. (Sometimes, the best movies need to be watched only twice (max), and be remembered fondly for. Ladies, practice more restraint =P ).

8. Why is each anniversary such a big deal to you? I'm not talking about yearly anniversaries, but our first date? Our first kiss? The first time I met your mother?

Answer: Honestly, I don’t know yet… Because you are special and I want to remember everything about us?

9. Do you think I'm better looking than Brad Pitt?

Answer: Yes, you do! Totally! I will choose you over him anytime! What’s the big deal about Brad Pig? Crap. (yea, come and send me hate mails…)

10. How can you always remember those little things, like Great-Great Aunt Emma's birthday or the anniversary of Cousin Susie's dog's death?

Answer: Cos I love them. And I would remember the nitty-gritties about you too.

11. Why do you always ask us questions when you already know the answers?

Answer: I want a second opinion and I try not to be Miss-Know-It-All. Who knows, you may enlighten me!

12. How can you always be up for going shopping?

Answer: Really? That’s so untrue. I rather laze in bed…

13. Chest hair — good or bad?

Answer: Aw…come on, we love you warts and all and you are asking about chest hair? Please…

14. Boxers or briefs? Be honest.

Answer: Boxers for me. Checkered ones... (Answer is definitely not representative of the female population. But boxers are more comfy right? Guys are at their most charming when they are comfortable in their own skin.)

15. Why do you find it endearing when a guy's in love and won't take no for an answer in the movies, but in real life you call it stalking?

Answer: In the movies, the guy who hounds the daylights out of the female lead is inevitably suave, charming and an incredibly good catch. There exists a discrepancy between reel life and real life only because in real life, the ‘stalker’ is usually none of the above (actually, even sadder…like low self-esteem, scarily obsessive and devoid of social skills). If not, we wouldn’t avoid him at all costs (which lead to stalking incidents). We would date him. =)

16. Why is it so easy for you to stop and ask directions?
Answer: Cos I am too lazy to figure it out myself. Plus, it would be easier to appear ‘stupid’ than try so hard and get it wrong. Definitely a more painful ego bruiser. Ouch!

17. How do you innately seem to know what can or can’t go in the dryer?

Answer: Intuition. Or previous painful lessons, incurred at the expense of a shrunk Marc Jacobs top.

18. Why do you always complain about your mothers and then end up talking to them for hours upon hours?

Answer: It is better to talk to them then to be nagged at by them.

19. Why do you always go to the bathroom in groups?

Answer: Cannot relate…sorry. (But, some gals bond in the bathroom by gossiping/ bitching about others.)

20. Facial hair. Good or bad?

Answer: Again…have more confidence will ya? But I like my guy clean shaven.

21. Looks or money?

Answer: Can I have both? It’s like asking you, “Beauty or brains?” Seriously though, none of the above. Just treat us nice and that’ll suffice. Some can be good-looking jerks, others can be miserly millionaires. Not attractive either way.

22. When you ask, “If I died, would you remarry?” What exactly are you looking for?

Answer: Guys, I think you have all been harassed to death by this question (or questions of this crappy nature). Poor things! And gals, please don’t ask such a bloody question to torture your sweethearts. Totally a great waste of energy. Worse if the conversation escalates into a heated, tearful “You don’t love me enough!” argument. Get a life.

23. If I died, would you remarry?

My dear, if I had a choice, I would choose to die before you do, and that would have saved me from the heartache of losing you.
(Stop at this point, if she turns soft and teary and touched. Yea right, like she’ll give up…)
(If she persists—which 99% of the time, she would)
Continue with:
No, never! Never, ever! (Please try to say this convincingly, accompanied by a steady, loving look into her eyes. And God bless your poor soul for lying through your teeth!)

[This section shall be explored in detail in my next blog entry, cos, I do have some personal opinions on it].

24. Does your dad like me? No, seriously.

Answer: He would, eventually. (Cos, time will prove to him that you actually turn out to be the great guy I know you are, and the guy I love can stand the test of time)

25. How do you mange to be so cute, charming, silly, frustrating, beautiful, mysterious, complicated, simple and unbelievably interesting? No, seriously.

Answer: Simple, that’s because you love me for all that I am and in your eyes, I can do no wrong. (And gals, if your guy thinks the above of you, you are very blessed to have found The One).

Daily Trivia: Question: What’s a shart?
Answer: It’s a fart that’s accompanied by a little shit.


Blogger Andriu said...

You made me laugh my ass off! Thanx. I needed it!

4:11 AM  

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